In my early years, my peers and I were focused solely on acquiring knowledge and graduating with flying colours. Relationships were never a priority for us. We were too engrossed in our education and personal growth to consider love or romance.
Fast forward to 2016, I was still living with my parents while attending school and learning a handwork. At my workplace, I had a friend named Sodiq, who was a year ahead of me in school. He often shared stories about women, relationships, and intimate encounters, topics that were completely foreign to me at the time.
Before then, I had naively believed that a man simply met the woman he wanted and got married, but Sodiq made me realise it wasn’t that simple. Little did I know, his words had started to reshape my thoughts. Soon, I found myself unconsciously focusing on women in my classes. However, despite my newfound curiosity, I didn’t feel a connection with anyone, so I let the thoughts slide.
One day, Sodiq visited my school, but he had an ulterior motive. Within an hour of being on campus, he had collected the phone numbers of three ladies, all in one spot.
I was in awe. “How do you do this?” I asked. “Is this just who you are, or is your entire life now centred around women?”
He smiled and replied, “It’s something I’ve learned. The only way to meet women is to go out looking for them. Unless I step out and don’t see a woman, there’s no way I won’t talk to one.”
His extraordinary ability to attract women earned him the nickname Oko Awon Obinrin, the Husband of All Women.
In 2017, a new student transferred to my school. She was slim, beautiful, and effortlessly captivating. From the very first moment she walked into my class, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. But I assumed she wouldn’t be interested in someone like me.
At the time, I was the class representative, and I had turned over a new leaf—no longer the guy easily influenced by Sodiq. However, I soon realised that I wasn’t the only one drawn to her. In a class where only 10% were male, about 7% of us had our eyes on her. That’s when I decided to use my position to my advantage.
I approached her under the guise of explaining the class rules and regulations. The rules had already been posted, but it gave me the perfect excuse to introduce myself.
She smiled warmly. “Thanks for the gesture, I really appreciate it. But can we be friends?” she asked. Without hesitation, I responded, “Yes, we are friends already.”
Our friendship grew quickly, and one day, she surprised me with an unexpected request. She walked over to my seat and asked, “Can you help me write a love letter?” I was shocked. No woman had ever asked me for such a favour before. But who was I to refuse? I carefully crafted heartfelt lines for her, pouring my best effort into the letter.
However, after I handed it to her, she pulled me aside, smiled, and returned the letter. “I don’t need this for someone else,” she whispered. “I wrote it for you.”
Before I could process her words, she leaned in and gave me my first-ever kiss. I marked the date in my heart, a moment forever etched in my memory. That was the beginning of my love story with Balikis.
As our love story blossomed, Balikis became familiar with my home, and I knew hers, too. Due to her job as a hairdresser in Itamon, Ilorin, she often visited me late at night.
One night, she arrived at my house at midnight, long after everyone had gone to bed. I was startled but kept my composure, not wanting her to notice my unease. We sat outside, lost in conversation, unaware that my mother was listening from behind us.
At around 1 a.m., she was ready to leave. I gathered my courage and decided to accompany her for a distance. When we got close to her house, we kept talking until time passed. My family called my phone repeatedly, but I later switched it off just to avoid disturbance.
Later, as I approached my house, I saw my entire family waiting for me at the entrance. That was the moment I realised my life was about to change. Everyone kept abusing me. My uncle wanted to beat me, so I had to run and didn’t go back until a week later.
Heartbroken and desperate, I went in search of Balikis, but she was nowhere to be found. I checked her house, her workplace, everywhere I could think of, but she had vanished. No one knew where she had gone. I guess having four F9 grades in her senior school certificate exam contributed to her disappearance. She couldn’t endure the shame, so she left.
The week I was away from home, I spent the first night living with a friend who had rented an apartment and lived by himself in the neighbourhood before moving in with Sodiq, whose mother sold provisions. I would go out in the day to learn aluminium and glass installation and buy food with the little amount I was making.
The experience was huge, and today, it has shaped me into who I am. Although I have never loved someone again the way I cherished her, it keeps me focused and always reminds me that nothing we wish for may turn out as expected, and that’s how everything is going now.
I never saw Balikis again. She left a hole in my heart, a love that turned into pain.
But if she ever comes across this, I want her to know I still adore her. Wherever you are, Balikis, I hope you’re happy. I wish you the very best in life.
Oluwatoyin Hawal Momolosho is a freelance journalist based in Nigeria with a keen interest in environment, climate, investigative stories, and fact-checking. He is a creative writer and community developer. He can be reached at oluwatoyinhawalbolaji@gmail.com.
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